Ryan’s Docket: Case #1907-418 “Zero” (2008)

OPENING STATEMENT

The Roach finally did it.  I mean Cutter.  He moved up a notch in my book.  Which isn’t hard considering there was no where to go but up.  He took a moral stance in this episode and sandbagged his own case despite being in a solid position for the win.  Even Jack (moral champion) seemed to be steering him in the immoral direction.  We’ll blame it on the lights Jack.

SUMMARY JUDGMENT

Cutter (or Cutbag as I affectionately call him) climbed up on his high horse in this one.  He was hell-bent on bumping a long reigning geezer of a judge from his judicial chair because he forgot Cutter’s name.  Wait, I’m not even sure what Cutter’s name is.  John?  Maybe I should be removed from this blog.  Evidently the judge’s clerk, Connie, taught him how to use instant messaging and was spoon feeding him instructions.  I wish she would spoon feed me, meow.  Ultimately with Cutter and the defense attorney in cahoots, they exposed the judge as being inept and having extra strength dementia which forces him to step down.  Interestingly, the detective work didn’t seem to support the subsequent prosecution plot in this caper.  But, I’m not complaining.

ITEMS FILED INTO EVIDENCE

I recognized the judge and his clerk from previous acting spats but couldn’t quite put my finger on where.  Anyone?  My DVR is in the shop or else I’d have figured this out.  What I find suspicious is why Connie the clerk was even in the courtroom.  Now I haven’t been practicing law for 20 years in the state of NY, but I have been watching TV in NY for damn near 30 years and this is suspect.  I can’t recall ever seeing a clerk in the courtroom in any previous episodes.  Objection.  Inconsistent and fabricated for this episode your honor.

CORROBORATION

Is it me or did this episode make Jack seem like he lost a few marbles.  One moment Jack is bursting out of his office, rambling about 3 watts of light like a bumbling idiot.  The next he’s insinuating to Cutbag to turn a blind eye to the moral conundrum before him.  Not very McCoy-esq if you ask me.  His suits are looking immensely better tho.  No more is Jack the punchline of the running suit joke.  But evidently he had to trade a few brain cells for those threads.

OPENING LENNY-ISM

Upon discovery of the dead body of the environmentalist in the compost garden:

Det. Bernard: “First rule of composting…no meat.”

Ryan’s Docket: Case #1906-417 “Sweetie” (2008)

Intriguing episode bolstered by some transsexual shock value and an ending that doesn’t wrap everything up into a pretty little package.  From time to time I appreciate conclusions of this nature, especially on shows like L&O for its closer reflection of reality.  Oops-a-daisy.

SUMMARY

Allegedly this episode was inspired by the experiences of JT Leroy (pen name of American writer Laura Albert) of which I know nothing about.  Vivica Fox guest stars as the editor of Sweetie’s book and gives de la Garza a solid run in the looks department.  At one point or another every character is accused of being the real Sweetie.  Ultimiatley Vivica’s sordid past is revealed despite wrongly prosecuting trucker-boy Sweetie.

ITEMS FILED INTO EVIDENCE

I believe this is Vivica’s first appearance on L&O orginial recipe.  But her presence wasn’t what held my attention.  Janice.  Yes Jancie.  And no I don’t have an ugo-fetish.  Without the assistance of IMDB I was able to place her hurtin mug.  She played Barbara from the movie “Devil’s Advocate”.  Testifying in court seems to be a recurring theme for actress Heather Matarazzo.

OBJECTION

I was beside myself when Cutter utters “stick around, you might learn something” to McCoy.  I let out a Whoa! No one speaks to Jack like that.  Sure enough moments later McCoy easily shoots holes in Cutter’s prosecution tact and retorts with, “I stayed, I watched…what was it I was supposed to learn?”  Zing!  Btw, Cutter is at the top of my settle scale.

THE PROSECUTION RESTS?

NO!  I cannot rest.  I recently realized why it’s been difficult for me to warm up to season 19.  No it’s not because old ironsides Sam Waterston plays a backburner role as DA.  I point the finger at senior & junior dectectives played by Jeremy Sisto and Anthony Anderson.  These actors are readily identifiable from previous roles in other projects.  I cannot see past “Clueless“ , “Transformers”, and “The Departed”.  Not a historic trait of Dick Wolf.  What’s the deal here?  I’m filing for appeal.

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